Hey mama,

Let me paint you a picture: It’s 7 PM, you’re finally getting the kids settled, and you’re already dreading tomorrow. You’ve been running on empty for weeks (months?), and despite reading every article about “beating burnout,” you feel worse than ever.

Sound familiar?

As a behavior analyst and mom of four (including twins!), I’ve seen this pattern countless times - both in my own life and with the hundreds of moms I coach. Here’s the thing that nobody talks about: most of the advice we’re getting about mom burnout is actually making it worse.

I know that sounds harsh, but stay with me. Because once you understand these five critical mistakes, you can stop spinning your wheels and start actually recovering from burnout instead of accidentally fueling it.

Mistake #1: Waiting Until You “Have Time” for Self-Care

Let’s start with the biggest myth in mom burnout recovery: that you need big chunks of time to take care of yourself.

Why This Makes Burnout Worse

When you’re waiting for the perfect moment - that magical Saturday when the kids are occupied and you have nothing else to do - you’re essentially telling yourself that your needs don’t matter until everything else is handled first.

Spoiler alert: everything else is never handled. There’s always another load of laundry, another email, another mess to clean up.

Meanwhile, you’re getting more depleted by the day, waiting for permission that never comes.

What This Actually Looks Like

• “I’ll focus on myself after this busy season at work”
• “Once the kids are older, I’ll have time for me”
• “I need at least two hours to make it worthwhile”
• “I can’t relax until everything is done”

The Real Problem

Your nervous system needs consistent, small interventions to recover from burnout. Waiting for big blocks of time is like waiting to eat until you have time for a five-course meal. You’ll starve waiting for the “perfect” moment.

What to Do Instead

Start with what I call “micro-recovery moments”:
• 90 seconds of deep breathing at red lights
• Drinking your coffee while it’s actually hot
• Taking a two-minute shower extension
• Stepping outside for three deep breaths

These aren’t “not enough” - they’re exactly what your overwhelmed nervous system needs to start healing.

Free self-care workbook for overwhelmed mothers featuring practical strategies for managing real motherhood stress and finding balance in chaos

Mistake #2: Trying to “Fix” Your Burnout by Doing More

This one breaks my heart because it’s so well-intentioned. You’re burned out, so you think the solution is to get better at managing everything you’re already doing.

Why This Makes Burnout Worse

Burnout isn’t a productivity problem - it’s a capacity problem. When you try to solve it by optimizing your schedule, meal prepping harder, or finding the “perfect” morning routine, you’re adding more pressure to an already overloaded system.

What This Actually Looks Like

• Downloading every productivity app
• Creating elaborate morning routines you can’t maintain
• Trying to meal prep for two weeks at once
• Making detailed schedules that fall apart by Tuesday
• Researching “life hacks” instead of resting

The Real Problem

You’re treating the symptoms (chaos, disorganization) instead of the root cause (you’re carrying too much). More systems won’t help if you don’t have the capacity to maintain them.

What to Do Instead

Before adding anything new, start subtracting:
• What can you stop doing entirely?
• What can you do “good enough” instead of perfectly?
• What can you delegate (even if it’s not done your way)?
• What expectations can you release?

One of my clients was exhausting herself making elaborate lunches for her kids every day. When we dug deeper, she realized it was about proving she was a “good mom.” We worked on redefining what good mothering actually means (spoiler: it’s not Pinterest-worthy lunches).

Mistake #3: Ignoring Your Body’s Burnout Signals

Your body is constantly sending you messages about your stress levels, but most of us have learned to override them so well that we don’t even notice until we’re completely depleted.

Why This Makes Burnout Worse

When you ignore early warning signs, your body has to escalate to get your attention. What starts as mild fatigue becomes chronic exhaustion. What begins as occasional irritability becomes constant rage.

What This Actually Looks Like

• “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not
• Pushing through exhaustion with more caffeine
• Dismissing physical symptoms as “just stress”
• Feeling proud of your ability to “power through”
• Only stopping when you’re literally sick

The Real Problem

Your body’s stress signals aren’t weaknesses to overcome - they’re information to help you course-correct before you crash completely.

What to Do Instead

Start paying attention to your early warning signals:

Physical signals:
• Tension in your shoulders or jaw
• Changes in appetite or sleep
• Getting sick more often
• Unexplained aches and pains

Emotional signals:
• Feeling irritable over small things
• Crying more easily (or feeling numb)
• Losing interest in things you usually enjoy
• Feeling overwhelmed by normal tasks

Behavioral signals:
• Snapping at your kids more often
• Avoiding social interactions
• Neglecting basic self-care
• Using food, alcohol, or screens to cope

When you notice these signals, that’s your cue to intervene with rest, support, or boundary-setting - not to push harder.

an image of a mom holding her head because she is so overwhelmed and experiencing severe mom burnout

Mistake #4: Believing You Should Be Able to Handle Everything Alone

This might be the most damaging belief of all: that asking for help means you’re failing as a mother.

Why This Makes Burnout Worse

Humans are wired for community support, especially when raising children. When you try to do everything yourself, you’re working against your biology and setting yourself up for inevitable burnout.

What This Actually Looks Like

• “I should be able to handle this”
• “Other moms seem to manage fine”
• “I don’t want to be a burden”
• “No one else can do it right”
• “I’ll just figure it out myself”

The Real Problem

The myth of the self-sufficient supermom is exactly that - a myth. Even the moms who seem to “have it all together” have support systems you don’t see.

What to Do Instead

Start small with asking for help:
• Let your partner handle bedtime without micromanaging
• Ask a neighbor to grab something from the store
• Accept offers of help instead of automatically declining
• Join a mom group or playdate exchange
• Hire help if you can afford it (cleaning service, grocery delivery, etc.)

Remember: You’re not teaching your children independence by doing everything yourself. You’re teaching them that adults don’t need or deserve support, which isn’t the lesson you want them to learn.

Mistake #5: Comparing Your Burnout Recovery to Others

Social media has made this mistake almost unavoidable. You see other moms who seem to bounce back quickly, who appear to have endless energy, who make recovery look effortless.

Why This Makes Burnout Worse

Comparison steals your focus from your own healing and makes you feel like you’re failing at recovery too. It also pushes you to try strategies that work for others but might not work for your specific situation.

What This Actually Looks Like

• “She seems fine after just a weekend away”
• “I should be better by now”
• “Everyone else handles stress better than me”
• “I must be doing something wrong”
• “Why is this so hard for me?”

The Real Problem

Burnout recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all. Your timeline, your strategies, and your journey will be unique to you. Comparing yourself to others’ highlight reels keeps you stuck in shame instead of moving toward healing.

What to Do Instead

Focus on your own progress, however small:
• Celebrate tiny wins (like taking a five-minute break)
• Track your own patterns and what helps you
• Unfollow accounts that make you feel worse about yourself
• Remember that everyone’s circumstances are different
• Trust your own pace of recovery

The Real Path to Burnout Recovery

Now that we’ve covered what NOT to do, let’s talk about what actually works:

1. Start Where You Are

You don’t need to be ready for major changes. Start with the smallest possible step that feels manageable today.

2. Focus on Subtraction, Not Addition

Before adding anything new to your life, look for what you can remove, delegate, or do differently.

3. Listen to Your Body

Your body is your best guide for what you need. Learn to hear its signals and honor them.

4. Build Your Support Network

Recovery happens in relationship. You don’t have to do this alone, and asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

5. Be Patient with the Process

Burnout didn’t happen overnight, and recovery won’t either. Trust that small, consistent changes compound over time.

When to Seek Professional Support

Sometimes burnout is deeper than what self-help strategies can address. Consider professional support if:

• You’re having thoughts of harming yourself or others
• You can’t find joy in anything anymore
• Your relationships are significantly suffering
• You’re using substances to cope
• You feel hopeless about things getting better

There’s no shame in needing more support. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself and your family is to get professional help.

Your Burnout Recovery Starts Now

Here’s what I want you to do today: pick ONE of these mistakes that resonates most with you and commit to doing something different.

Maybe it’s taking five minutes for yourself without waiting for the “perfect” time.
Maybe it’s asking your partner to handle dinner tonight.
Maybe it’s paying attention to that tension in your shoulders and actually doing something about it.

Small changes create big transformations over time. But you have to start.

Remember, mama: You’re not broken, and you’re not failing. You’re human, carrying a load that would exhaust anyone. The fact that you’re here, reading this, looking for solutions? That shows incredible strength and love for your family.

You deserve to feel like yourself again. You deserve support. You deserve recovery.

And it’s possible - even when it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Tired of making burnout worse without realizing it? If you’re ready for support that actually helps instead of adding more pressure, I’m here for you. Try 24 hours of FREE coaching with me - because you don’t have to figure this out alone.

Ready to stop making these mistakes and start real recovery?